A Two-Wheel Drug Deal

After recovering most of the way from what was probably the COVID-19 virus, I pulled my bicycle out of storage I took it for a 5-mile ride on a sunny day. Some said I was stupid for doing that. I think it helped the healing process even if it exhausted me for a day or two.

My bicycle is a 1993-model Raleigh Technium 21-speed touring bike. I used to ride it to take tours. On roads. And paved bike paths. Because the tires are very skinny. It likes pavement, but is flexible enough to work on either asphalt or concrete. I learned at an early age that if you take care of your toys, they provide joy and useful entertainment for longer than if you don’t. In writing this blog, I learned that the rest of the world calls this a “vintage” bicycle. I’ve taken great care of the bike for 26 years through more than a dozen changes of location and a variety of riding conditions including snow and hail, which its skinny tires did not like. Last week, I loaded the Raleigh into the back of the Yeti and drove to the South Platte bike trail.

I noticed a bulge in the front tire. Upon closer inspection, the wire binding was popped out from beneath the rim. Had I ridden, it surely would have split and left me stranded somewhere. The back tire was similarly worn.

I tried to place a date on the last time I bought new bike tires. It was fifteen years ago, maybe more. I was due.

The Littleton bike shop has coronavirus curbside pick-up for online orders. I picked out my tires and placed my order, but was confused because there wasn’t a place to pay.

Almost like a whisper coming from behind the dumpster was a line on the page, “Submit your order, and we will call you.”

I submitted the order. Another page popped up, and from out of the shadows, it said I would get a call in 2-4 days, and they would collect my payment information and then give me further instructions on when to pick up the tires.

I’m still waiting for the call, but I can predict at some point, I will be told to “leave the gun, take the cannoli.”

I’ll be suspicious if the transaction takes place after normal business hours, or at the back door instead of the regular store entrance. Or if the dealer appears to be a Libyan foreign national. Will I need to check the merchandise for tracking devices? When I finally get to ride the bicycle again, I wonder if I will be suspicious of people following me.

 Buying bicycle tires sure has changed in 15 years.