Goin’ Down to South Park
I scored a two-fer in the adventure pack yesterday. The long-overdue second stop paid homage to TV heroes who paved the way for us to use words on television that once would have merited a mouth full of Lifebuoy soap. Any day or night, through the magic of syndicaton and on-demand streaming, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman may enter our living rooms to engage in ludicrous plots and schemes in their home town of South Park, Colorado. I turned the tables and took my ludicrous schemes to their home town — South Park, Colorado.
South Park is not an actual town. It has no post office of its own, and no town hall. It is an enigmatic regional name that pops up from Fairplay to Alma along Route 9 near the intersection with Rt. 285. That area lies in the southernmost area of Park County. Alma is the highest incorporated municipality in the United States at 10,578 feet above sea level and is the proud home to about 270 residents.
I stopped in Alma to take a photo of the South Park Saloon, presumably where Cartman will recount his stories when he and the boys are 45, balding and fully jaded. The saloon was closed due to COVID-19 but open for take-out beer and liquor, as you can tell from the fancy sign. I set the dogs to barking an got the evil eye from one of the 270 people, so I moseyed along.
If your truck or SUV is too clean, one of the locals will spray it with ambient dust and road-splatter to make it look like this one.
The Orphan Boy Mine, established in 1861 to extract gold, silver, lead and zinc, is obsolete. File that under “Names That Instill Confidence”: Orphan Boy. Nearby, the Sweet Home Mine no longer produces silver, but now is a source for spectacular rhodochrosite crystals.
Further south in South Park, perhaps they call it Deep South Park, I found many more South Park references on buildings and businesses. A ghost town of sorts exists there, and a crew worked to restore some of the buildings. Because of the pandemic, the streets in Fairplay were deserted. Or maybe they are always that way. I parked on the side of the road and took some photos of a historic area called “South Park City.”
The historic areas look very much like the “skyline” depicted in the animated TV show. “South Park City” consists of 40 buildings constructed between 1860 and 1890. Seven of these were original to this street. The rest were relocated from other parts of town and nearby ghost towns to preserve the heritage.
I took pictures from outside a fenced area until Office Barbrady came by in his police cruiser. He slowed to look me over, then moved on at a crawl. I made another photo stop and he waited across the street for me to finish. As a visitor to Fairplay, I felt safe having a continual police presence.
The town’s major social event is Burro Days, which was parodied in the Comedy Central show as “Cow Days.” A burro race highlights the festival, and it’s no trivial matter. It is 29 miles over grueling terrain. The winner gets to marry his or her burro. Just kidding — that never happened. Well, maybe once.
Fairplay was established in the 1850s as a mining camp during the Colorado Gold Rush, and later for the silver mines. Now, the town is know for fabulous fly fishing and winter recreation includes ice climbing. The population is 679 (2010 Census) which gives you an idea of the town’s size.